The power of your tonque...

James 1:26 "If anyone considers himself religious and yes does not keep a tight rein on his tonque, he deceive himself and his religion is worthless."

The greek word for the religion here is "threskos" it means outward expression of religion. And James explained to us the difference of being religious from being spiritual.

Controlling our tonque, is one of the hardest part of christian life. And yes, i suffer too much from this. How can you hurt somebody you love by saying trash words and bullying him or her just to justify your stand?

I just want to tell a story about me not being so christian. Last night, Oct 9, 2011 around 11pm (Manila Time). I did a terrible mistake. I got home from a very successful seminar conducted by our group A4peeps. I have a very good time with God, i love worship and i love praise. We received a very good feedback about the seminar and we are all happy about it.. I never expected that terrible things will happen that night. While i was walking on my way to CCF's church for evaluation, suddenly my phone rang and it was my fiancee. i Answered and i talked to her, she was crying i asked "why? is there any problem?" she insists "No its ok.." i asked her again and again and after atleast 5 repeated questions, she told me.. "Naiinis kasi ako sayo kasi hindi mo man lang ako kinakamusta" i said sorry, and explained the things, but just like any other people, it will be too hard for someone to understand you, if they feel very hurt of your actions. I kept explaining and out of nowhere she told me something i never expected she would say... although i think its not really good for me to post exactly what she said, to make the long story short, i was hurt and very angry about what she told me.. It reminds me of my past, a terrible comparison of myself from other people.. a foul thing for me, i am so mad.. i can't even focus on the evaluation because i kept texting her..

After our meeting, i got home, walking in the floods wearing my maong pants. it was really "nakakadiri" feelings walking in the floods, to think your so tired and wants to rest.

And that night, we chatted on skype got a very big argument! to the point i never realize "BOOM" i said a very foul words that make her back down and cried and turned off the skype chat. I admit i was also shocked of what i've just told her, but my ego will never allow me to say sorry right away, i threatened her thru text to go online again and talk to me, and i said "if you don't want more terrible things to happen", she opened her skype again and we chatted and still i allowed my pride to rule me. It was devastating on her side, she also threatened me of not marrying me anymore. I was shocked but kept my composure(or ego) rule. I asked her "is that what you want?" she never answered, and once again my ego rule, and i asked her with full anger "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?" threatening her again that i will agree to her demands once she never answered me. She said "No". I had to admit, although i like her answer, but something inside of me reacted. I was embarrassed of my self, suddenly the ego and pride that i have that night became a shame and guilt as a man.. how can i hurt her by my words?? why did i tell her those things?? its a sham!! that night i wanted to die atleast for an hour. I want to say sorry, but word has been said, damage has been done, i felt VERY STUPID about my self. I told my self, man, you just came home from a "Christian" event, and in just few hours your back from your old self.. I said sorry and ask her forgiveness, but i understand it will never be the same.

There are times in our lives, we will be losing our temper. James said "guard your tongue". I failed the test.. indeed i've done worst things. I've hurt my future wife, in 5 seconds, i destroyed something i built for atleast 10months. Although we never broke up, and we reconciled already, i still suffers from that painful memory of us. I am sorry Lord, please forgive my words and actions.. and to my future wife, i am sorry my dear. I know you already forgiven me, but i can still feel the guilt and shame of what i did. I just want you to know that i am always be your man, in good or worst times of our lives.

I love you and i miss you so much.

=(

Lesson learned today: "What matters is who you have in life, not what you have"

God bless you all...

Life's BIG BIG lessons...

"Grief melts away, like snow in may, as if there were no such cold thing.."

My fiancee's favorite quote.. Indeed true..

Everything will come to past, happy or sad memories. But at the end of the day, how you survived that moment is what really matters.

I remember the preaching i heard from one of my favorite pastor he said: "Wise people, learns from his mistake, but wiser learns from others mistake". Sometimes we are so stubborn that we want to experience being broken for us to believe. We want to play fire even we already know the danger of playing with it.

What is the biggest mistake you've made so far? Maybe you won't remember anything, you know why? just like the quote says, it melts away, and you will never remember it again. I wonder why many people use to dwell on the "painful" memories instead of the "happy" ones. Sad people often listen to "one last cry" type of music, instead of listening to "joy to the world" type. Those things are the wonders of life. Our Savior Jesus Christ gave us the perfect example on how to deal with life's difficulties, read the whole epistles books and you will find out how Jesus live a perfect, intelligent and loving life here on earth, that even up to His last dying breathe, He cares and prays for every single people even His tormentors. I can still remember Jesus's prayer on the cross, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing".. It's interesting to know that Jesus teachings are to "love your enemies, and pray for those who persecutes you". And by praying those kinds of prayer, Jesus really exemplified His teachings, and what i appreciate about it was, He did it in the worst terrible time of His life on the cross. We Christians use to teach others to do good works, but have we ever taught of doing things we teach? Think about those things......

One day to live

As i have read the news today, i found out that Steve Jobs, former Apple CEO passed away early this morning(Manila time). Indeed Mr. Jobs, made a big impact to the IT industry by promoting new innovations thru ipods and iphones.

As i've continue to browse the news about details of his death. I've read an article "Steve Jobs Speech: How to live before you die". It was Mr. Jobs commencement speech June 12, 2005 at Stanford University.

He told 3 stories about what he learned about life, it is quiet long, but as i continue reading, i found out that his third story was the most inspiring one. On his third story, he talked about death. His experience and reaction to life and other things.

I like what Mr. Jobs told the crowd "Death is a destination we all share". We only live once in this life, and after that death will come. Nobody escaped death he said.

In our lives today, we often missed the opportunity of having great time with our family, friends and most importantly, our God. If we will be honest to ourselves, we rarely talk to God about what our life's status. I remember one story entitle "God loves story" when God asking how much a man loves Him. Just like the man thought he was answering great, he was asked difficult questions about his love for God. A man has no answers but tears.. as God continue to ask him, he can not even say a single word. But thankfully God still told him how much He loves him.

We may encounter difficult moments in this life, it might knock us down, or even sometimes knock us out. But no matter what, how many times we get knock out, what's more important is how many times we got up. It's an old saying "It's not how you begin, but how you finish". And remember that for every things we say, we do and we make people around us feel.. It will define who we are in the future.

If you only have one more day to live, how will you spend it?

BTW Happy birthday to my Dad! :)